Unworthiness is a social construct, it is something that we have picked up simply by begin human.
We all feel unworthy, undeserving or simply less than from time to time. But these feelings of unworthiness that we tend to cling onto are not truly our own. They are something that has either been passed down to us or something that we have unknowingly attached ourselves onto.
Feelings of unworthiness do not represent who we are at our core. This means that they can be released and more importantly that they can be healed.
How do we learn self-worth?
I believe we step into that feeling of worthiness simply by removing the barriers within ourselves that keep us from experiencing it.
We live in a world where we are only allowing the parts of ourselves that we are proud of to be seen. That makes sense. But it becomes damaging when it is done in an attempt to avoid the parts of ourselves that we fear facing.
Like self-love, self-worth is something that is continuously promoted - and rightfully so. Yet seldom we are taught or shown how to navigate towards feelings of self-worth or self-love when we are lacking it. This leaves us feeling less than worthy and without hope of even having a path there.
How are we suppose to navigating the world and the self when we feel as though we don't have an ounce of self-worth inside of us? We are told how we should be yet here we are, feeling less than, and without having the proper tools or road map to get to where we want to go.
I think the solution simple. But just because something is simple doesn't mean that it is easy. The solution is to go towards those any and all feelings of unworthiness. We must go towards the very things that we do not want to feel in a attempt to understand them and their source. If we don’t go towards these uncomfortable feelings, acknowledge them and ultimately face them, then they always going to be there.
In my latest podcast episode, this is exactly what I do.
I attempt to go towards my own feelings of unworthiness in order to better understand the self and the world. You can listen to that episode by clicking here.
The way I see it, self-worth means having value and confidence - not only with who you are but where you are in life. A value that comes from within yourself meaning no one can give it to you and no one can take it from you. It has to stand on its own. The only person that can give you that feeling of self-worth is yourself. But not only must you permit yourself to have it, you must be willing to accept it. Acceptance tends to be the hard part.
When we allow that feeling of worth into our lives, we feel like we can not only take on whatever comes our way, but that we also deserve the things that we want in life.
When we refuse to allow self-worth into our lives, it affects us.
Maintaining feelings of unworthiness affects us negatively and consistently, and often in ways that we are not even aware of.
When the unworthiness inside of you grows, the possibilities outside of you begin to shirk because that is a direct reflection of what is happening internally. These feelings of unworthiness lead us to make choices because of our beliefs and we shut ourselves off of the possibility of having or deserving better.
One of the key modalities of dissipating and releasing these feelings of unworthiness is by challenging them. When you are in that state of mind of completely questioning yourself and doubting yourself, look at these thoughts and ask yourself: are they true?
Is what I am believing rooted in reality?
Or is it a false perception that does more harm than good?
And if so, WHY am I choosing to hold onto these beliefs rather than to release them and let them go?
I chose to talk about this topic on my latest episode because I believe that if we don’t talk about exactly where we are in life and how we are hurting, then we can't be helped. If we don'e open ourselves up to healing them we are unable to see the possibility that there is another alternative - either another way to feel or another way to think.
Ultimately, we block off our own healing because we are not open to it.
We can only move forwards based on where we are at and how are we suppose to move forward if we continue to deny that very place.
Understanding our own feelings or unworthiness is both a complicated and difficult process. I choose to open myself and share the healing that is available all around me simply by talking about it. Hopefully my process of healing and my journey can help you along your own path. Listen to my full episode about self-worth and navigating feelings of unworthiness by clicking the box below.